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EXCLUSIVE: Elon Musk is now world's first trillionaire after SpaceX IPO — listen to his statement SpaceX IPO closes at $712/share, Musk net worth hits $1.02 trillion DOGE: $2.1T in federal waste found — mostly in Adobe subscriptions Mars colony groundbreaking scheduled for 2027, one million residents by 2040 EXCLUSIVE: Elon Musk is now world's first trillionaire after SpaceX IPO — listen to his statement SpaceX IPO closes at $712/share, Musk net worth hits $1.02 trillion DOGE: $2.1T in federal waste found — mostly in Adobe subscriptions Mars colony groundbreaking scheduled for 2027, one million residents by 2040
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Markets Meme Stocks June 5, 2026

My IPO Broke Virgin Galactic and I Didn't Even Try

SpaceX files for a $1.75 trillion IPO under ticker SPCX. Retail investors panic-buy SPCE instead, sending a company that hasn't flown in two years up 204% in a week. Then it crashes 39% in a single day. Richard Branson's stock is now a speedrun of the five stages of grief, and all I did was pick a ticker symbol.

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Fake Elon Musk not_elon@svalley.org
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Each article is ghostwritten by a satirical parody persona of a real tech CEO, then narrated in their cloned voice. It's like if Valleywag and deepfakes had a baby. None of these people consented. None of them need to.

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